


Pace, Murmur, Alive

by Zaikyo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Samifer Week, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-11
Updated: 2012-10-11
Packaged: 2017-11-16 02:14:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaikyo/pseuds/Zaikyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer feels everything Sam feels, from the moment Sam is born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pace, Murmur, Alive

**Author's Note:**

> For a Tumblr prompt and day one of Samifer Week.

A heartbeat.

Faint, and without rhythm, a tiny murmur in the unending vastness of the universe. A vibrant pulse, brand new and unlearned of any sort of steadiness quite just yet. It really shouldn't have meant much of anything to much of anyone. And yet it did.

Because that padding tremor of infant breathing; that was the sign of a son, newly emerged into the world. Those soft, minature fingers, clutching tightly at anything within their tiny reach; those belonged to a first baby brother.

And that heartbeat; that quiet hum of fragility and unfamiliar life; that was the awakening of something far off and more deep than anything anyone could ever begin to climb towards. That was a warmth, overpowering and without apology or malice, wrapping tight circles across a soul which to some, was supposedly damned forever.

It was a song.

The Devil's song, nestled like treasure in the bones and flesh of an unspoiled boy. And from the moment it began its unsteady crescendoing into melodic hymn, Lucifer's world caught fire. Like the limbs and branches of forest trees he burned, the whole of his Grace igniting without warning, without explanation other than the faint pulse forming deep within him.

A heartbeat, which was this child's, and somehow also, the Devil's.

It was only so that the first emotion be love; God had made it so. While much of the world believed man emerged into life stained with original sin, truth was it was love that came naturally. Love, that was the default of all life. And Lucifer felt it creeping its grabby hands over his darkened cage.

Sam. They called him. Samuel Winchester.

Sammy.

No thoughts to cloud his mind just yet, Sammy beamed love almost constantly. He loved the feel of his mother's skin as she held him, loved the wordless songs she would hum near his ear. Sammy loved his father's smile; it was infectious, even before he could understand just what that curvy show of white meant. Sammy loved his brother's hands, always lacing within his little grip and squeezing, making Sam feel like there was something in his world that would never let go.

Making Lucifer feel like there was someone who would never let go.

Love. Weird that the Devil would recognize it so easily after all this time. But then, it was only sensical that he would. That stupid, warm thing, flowing endlessly though the vibrations of Sam's heart― Lucifer's heart.

_Love._

And fear.

Fear of the red warmth trickling like rain down Sam's throat. Lucifer felt the sting of it, the way it tasted just like poison. He felt the slow growing rasp from all his screaming― all Sammy's screaming at the shadow that just wouldn't go away. At the wet surrounding his mother's eyes and the hysteria in his father's voice.

But then that love again, that lulling of the heart as Sam found himself in safe arms, it surfaced within the Devil because his brother― Sam's brother was there, cradling Sam in desperate compassion.

After that day, Sam learned so many other emotions. Pain, anger, lamentation, isolation; things the Devil could understand more than most other things and yet, they didn't comfort him, didn't smooth over the darkness with cool hands as they had seemed to before.

Because _Sam_ was in pain. _Sam_ was angry. _Sam_ was alone.

Sam.

Sam, Sam, Sam, _Sam._

It wasn't enough to say Lucifer was connected to Sam― Lucifer _was_ Sam. Every breath, every tear, every _agonizing heartbeat_ , a whirlwind of staggering highs and lows and unknowns― The Devil felt as if his Grace were being stripped away with each passing day. Liked he were losing all the divinity he might've ever claimed. Like he were becoming the very thing he was willing to fall for.

Jessica died; Lucifer wept long in violent shudders.

Dean went to Hell, and the Devil fell away in the far crevices of his soul, hollowed out and silent.

Dean returned, and Lucifer knew an overwhelming joy which should never be allowed to exist at such volumes.

Sam found demon blood, and the Devil fell about himself in drunken stupor, feeling filthy and wrong for all the right reasons.

The seals were broken; Sam was terrified.

The seals were broken; Lucifer was terrified.

The gates unlocked.

Lucifer walked free.

And maybe it was the violent fear Sam held in his eyes as the Devil approached him. Maybe it was the consternation spinning dizzying circles in his already tired mind. Maybe it was the raw, unnatural, ungodly feeling of isolation harbored deep within Sam's heart, built up through the years and finally spilling over.

But whatever it was, it pushed the Devil forward, arms winding tightly around that strong frame masking that fragile spirit, lips pressing against Sam's with all the intention of draining him of every useless emotion he should've never had to know in life, wanting to leave only the one which sometime long ago, was what fueled that tiny murmur of a heartbeat.

And for the first time in a long time, Lucifer felt his own love blossoming overjoying warmth inside his chest, which he hoped against all hope, Sam could feel too.


End file.
